she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
