is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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