she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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