I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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