And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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