just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
