"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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