I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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