i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
