I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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