based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
