just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
