quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
