Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We left the knife in your bed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
