just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
