Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my phone needs a breathalizer
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
