I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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