he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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