I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
