David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
