I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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