.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
