Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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