How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
