I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
