I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm having to shit out rocks
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
