I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize