So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
