I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
