Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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