i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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