I could have mohawked her pubes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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