before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
