I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize