im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
