Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
