got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize