Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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