i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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