How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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