respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
