She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize