He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
