please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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