Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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