I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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