Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
