He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
