Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize