Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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