I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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