guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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