Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
