I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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