I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
