your parents love me but you hate me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
