wanna go halves on a baby?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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