JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
