WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
