THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
