You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
