the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
