Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it's like iHOP with fire
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
They are going to name an STD after you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
