it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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