I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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