Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
