I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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