Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
