we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
