She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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