he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
