Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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