so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize